Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
