She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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