You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
