I am puke
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
