Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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