OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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