Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
