I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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