Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize