Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
