how can u be prego again
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
