shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
