Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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