im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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