i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
