I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
