remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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