I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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