haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize