it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
