david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
