I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
