Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I met the friendliest cop last night
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
