just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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