did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
