They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
