he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
