omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize