party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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