you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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