wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
