the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Pants are for mortals
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