Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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