I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
