so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
