Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
