i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
