is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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