i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
