is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
