In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
