there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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