i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize