What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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