But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
