So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
