we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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