that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
