Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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