Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
