that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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