I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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