you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you traded sex for a burrito?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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