Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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