i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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