He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
