so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
