She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
