The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She's just so happy...and so naked.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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