I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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