dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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