Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
bring money and cleavage
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
