I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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