Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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