I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
